Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just sent this text using only my big toe
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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