You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
