Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
