I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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