gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
