You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
