Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
