careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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