Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
