I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
