my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
