My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
