that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Randomize
