Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
