I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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