That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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