Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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