maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
