I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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