Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
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