Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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