I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
