Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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