Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
