what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
