Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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