I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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