I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
