Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
