We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
