MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
