Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
