based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
