I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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