i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Randomize
