Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
