my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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