What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The best revenge is premature balding
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
