whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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