I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
