I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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