when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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