Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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