I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
