I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
