she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
