I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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