I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
