There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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