So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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