Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
