Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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