I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
