do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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