I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
