also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
