You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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