Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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