haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
