yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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