She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
